And Now I Own A Knife, by Flynn Germain

And Now I Own A Knife

by Flynn Germain

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1.	The Long Con 02:52	lyrics	buy track

2.	Performative 03:35	lyrics	buy track

3.	Disappearing Man 02:11	lyrics	buy track

4.	Balloon 02:45	lyrics	buy track

5.	Bad News / Purity 05:15	lyrics	buy track

6.	Bighearted 03:45	lyrics	buy track

about

This is a alt-folk album about gender, depression, elliott smith, and unrequited love. It was recorded over the course of 2017 with my good friend Roger Greenfield, and I'm super, super proud of it.

credits

released January 6, 2018

vocals on all tracks + guitar on all except "bighearted": Flynn Germain
production + bass & additional guitar on "performative": Roger Greenfield
bass on "the long con": Charles Goddard
drums on "the long con": Johnny Rezende-Shalom

thanks also to Evan Pincus and Jed Kronfeld for being Extremely Good at feedback

the album cover is code over the Manet painting "Boy Carrying A Sword."

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about

Flynn Germain Los Angeles, California

Flynn Germain writes sad queer alt-folk. Their friends once voted them "Least Intimidating," and, god damnit, their friends were right.

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Track Name: The Long Con: hey elliott, what'd you think of my show
i set a glass of water down
in case your throat collapsed
burnt out or any notes fell outta tune

i said it was a t.v.
facing out toward the street
and nobody believed me
except for you

boston bottleworks closed down, god what a shitty excuse
i used, dear john, i'm alive for the rest of the long con
hey elliott, what'd you think of me loud
no sickness making straight the way down
i'm better now, dear john, i'm alive for the rest of the long con

i'm sick of it, you and the future of food
i can't get out of this rut
big neon sign in my stomach
liner notes say what you want

boston bottleworks closed down, god what a shitty excuse
i used, dear john, i'm alive for the rest of the long con
hey elliott, what'd you think of me loud
no sickness making straight the way down
i'm better now, dear john, i'm alive for the rest of the long con
Track Name: Performative: if the needing is performative then so's the wanting
but i became a needle you could never push through
wanna be reciprocal the way i used to
even now i wanna be the bucket list you

cross off / came under fire, got my rocks off
pulled out the underwire, bound them down
became an elephant for you to take the pieces you want out

well i'm learning to convince myself to wanna be
something you're not ever gonna want withstanding
got a new perspective on my way of falling, i stuck the landing

and the fact of what my body is is not a promise
took an oath and jesus christ i didn't want it
halfway through a bad idea, changed my tuning
i'm still mooning over you

when i got home, everybody said my name
and everybody said the same thing, the same thing
"oh sweetheart how you've changed
god you used to be so unbearably uncomforting
i never knew how to respond to all your mumbling
i'm so happy for you, i'm so happy for you
never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange
never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange"

and the fact of what my body is is not a promise
took an oath and jesus christ i didn't want it
martyred my whole body for this stupid castle
i'm still rattled over you

when i got home, everybody said my name
and everybody said the same thing, the same thing
"oh sweetheart how you've changed
god you used to be so unbearably uncomforting
i never knew how to respond to all your mumbling
i'm so happy for you, i'm so happy for you
never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange
never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange
never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange
never mind the bad things i thought about when you were strange"
Track Name: Disappearing Man: i am a fan of a disappearing man
he comes at night and he tells me he has plans for me
and everybody says that i'd be better off dead
but i'd give you anything

and i've got a fist and i've got an axe to grind
and you look a lot like a stone
and i'll bury the hatchet and i won't get it back
and no-one we know we know will ever know

you took the stage played a song
waltzed off and died, and now i own a knife
and it's keen, it's an art, tryna make sure that it's sharp
'cause sharp things get to decide

but i've got a book and it's gold and red and black
and you look a lot like a stone
so i'll build a church on expecting the worst
and i'll make that place my home

you took the stage played a song
waltzed off and died, and now i own a knife
and it's keen, it's an art, tryna make sure that it's sharp
'cause sharp things get to decide

i am a fan of a disappearing man
you come at night and you tell me you have plans for me
and everybody says that i'd be better off dead
but i'd give you anything
Track Name: Balloon: i'm not here- leave a message after the tone
phone home for now
and you, nobody knew, shoulda said what i needed loud
i shoulda made a loving sound

and i remembered everything you said
you wished that i was dead
you gave me a balloon, i popped the stupid thing
and i lost my head

oh my god- broke through the fever, broke my bones
don't be so sad
and i made partner, you let me in and i crashed your place
i joined a band, my bad

and i remembered everything you said
you wished that i was dead
you gave me a balloon, i popped the stupid thing
and i lost my head

and you remembered what you had to say
you wished i'd go away
you gave me a balloon, you told me to get lost
and i left the room
Track Name: Bad News / Purity: this is just a coincidence but when i saw you i thought "oh fuck,
i'm about to make a mistake that i can't take back"
but i guess my aim is pretty shit and i always want to admit impediments

ever since the end of this, or ever since i met you
I’ve been thinking "i didn’t mean to, i didn’t mean to, i didn't mean to"

and how the fuck am i supposed to be enough, dayenu
i'm rubber, you're glue, bad news

this is just a coincidence but when i saw you i thought "oh fuck,
i'm about to make a mistake that i can't take back"

/

there's a sorta purity in the impression you give me
i know that it's incorrect i know that it's incorrect
i know that it's incorrect

just give me a moment to think
i'm imagining you and me in a plain white dress
when i'm under duress

i just sorta assume that we'd learn each other
you'd fall in love and i'd stay the course
it'd be the best

but we tried that out and your answer was no
and my answer was yes

and you know why

where i used to call in the basement whenever i sleep there
i wake with a sense of shame, i wake with a sense of shame
i know i'm the one to blame

oh, i always hated the suburbs
unsated and shuttered off in the middle lane
in the middle lane

i became a manicured island and nobody liked it
they wanted to make a left
they all had to turn around

found a little purity in the impression you give me
cracked like the concrete ground

and you know why, and you know why

there's a sorta purity in the impression you give me
i know that it's incorrect, i want it that way instead
i want it that way instead

just give me a moment to think
i'm imagining something good that we both respect
Track Name: Bighearted: (no clear water, no forever ago)

I am so bighearted that my heart won't go
Stays right here while others bring her souvenirs

(no-one ever told you why not)
they tell you to just wait
it'll be so clear
everyone'll tell you what you need to hear

(and everyone will love you back)
and what a perfect night
you won't remember what it used to feel like
in the full of this
you won't remember what else used to pass for it

Bought a dress, big pattern what an awful mess
Incomplete, no hemming on the far right sleeve

(no red things, no red things, no future in a thing like that)

Needlehead lost somewhere in the quiet bed
Try to sleep, sharp giant where it shouldn't be

they tell you to just wait
it'll be so clear
everyone'll tell you what you need to hear

and what a perfect night
you won't remember what it used to feel like
in the full of this
you won't remember what else used to pass for it

Flynn Germain recommends:

Asocial Skills
by Roger GreenField

Roger Greenfield produced And Now I Own A Knife & also self-produced this album, which is legit phenomental. Flynn Germain
go to album
The Out Sound!
by Evan Pincus

Evan records these weird, lush sounds that make me wanna sing over them and I'm honestly thrilled to be friends with him. Flynn Germain
go to album

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